Breaking news has just hit Wombastville. Head groundsman Alfred Wombat (yes I know it’s a weird surname but it was legally changed earlier this year; such was his devotion to Warnie’s Wombats) has packed his bags, picked up his spare lawnmower and left for sunny England.
In what can only be described as a sub standard pitch (even though it was only a youth game) he was unhappy with the abuse from a partisan home crowd of 2,032 who had turned up to see the local seamers turn up and show what they were made of.
What Alfred declined to share with the shocked media and local supporters was that he had forgotten the youth side have no seamers in their ranks and producing such a wicket was an oversight of an enormous magnitude.
Rumours of his seedy private life, obsessive drinking and partying are just that, unfounded rumours. Although the club management will look to issue a press release once the dust and grass seed has settled.
Tommy O’Shea, Alfred’s assistant groundsman who is currently on holiday in Bermuda will return with immediate effect and take over the role of head groundsman.
O’Shea was delighted with the opportunity and said “I am delighted with the opportunity”, “to be sure, to be sure”. The Russian born cricket nut will arrive in Harare on Saturday ahead of the third round of the Pavilion cup.
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